Even though I tought I would dedicate this post to another band, something unexpected happened last night. I went with some friends to the cinema and saw Wrath of the Titans.
(I felt it, and it was funny.)
And actually, we had some fun! Not because the movie is great, he is actually not very good.....But he can be sometimes very funny.
A few summary first: Perseus, after having defeated the Kraken, decided that he prefered to be a fisherman, than to rule with the gods (Not sure a lot of human would miss that opportunity, but well..). But, you see, the gods have made a few mistakes and are getting weaker, and well, for some reason, the Tartarus need to be rebuilt. Ok, it's not that great but well, it could be worse.
Despite all the actions there is , sometimes, even when it's not really needed, the movie carries a lot of problems.
I'll start with the characters. Well, after seeing the entire film, I can assure you that all the secundary characters are not needed.
(This photo is quite relevant, because it depicts the entire movie. Perseus in front, the others behind just looking.)
You see, Andromeda is useless, her guards too (even worse than useless as you might see), I think she is just here because the director thought that he needed a pretty blond girl...and that would be it.
Even the son of poseidon is almost useless. I say almost because at the beginnning, he'll be of some help, but that will be it....I mean, come on ! The guy is the son of poseidon ! Couldn't he command waters and ocean to rise ? No ? No. No big powers, nothing....The last true action that you will see him perform is to jump, slow motion style, on a demon (that is already empaled on a wooden spear) in order to finish him with a knife....The demon is not even relevant, he is basically a soldier...So yeah....That is pretty much sad...
I won't even talk about the fact that a little army of normal soldiers prepared themselves to slow down a titan.....Yeah....A few hundreds man with some spears and shields in order to prevent the course of a titan, who is the father of the gods. So when they established their little plans, we had some laughs with my friends.
Now, about the gods, well....
The problem with them, which is also the problem with the movie, is that they are very....catholic types of gods. Forgiving, loving their sons, etc etc....
I'm sorry, but in the mythology, if you screw with Zeus, he is not gonna be like "oh, man, it's ok, I forgive you" No. He is gonna take the nearest thunderbolt, and smack it unto your face.
And what's more troubling is Ares. He is the god of war, and he is like "Zeus, father, which one of us do you prefer ? Perseus, or me ?"
Well, let me put it simply. Ares, in the mythology, doesn't care about the other sons of Zeus ? Do you know why ? Well, first, because he is the frikkin god of war. So, a mortal, even being demigod, is nothing compared to him. And when you see Ares talking to Perseus and calling him "Brother", that is just ludicrous. Secondly, they are talking about Perseus like he is the only chance of the gods because he is the only son of Zeus....Another problem here....You see, in greece, Zeus had actually fudge so many women that his sons and daughters would probably be able to form a small town at the time....So yeah...
I'll give a small mention/award to Bill Nighy who played his character very well, though he is also quite useless in his last scene, that's unfortunate...Poor Bill...
They are just so many moments in the movie where, because of the actors lines, or what they do, you just burst into laugh (you'd better laugh at it if you don't want to feel as if you had wasted your money). Whether it is Perseus' son, looking at the battlefield that is totally burning and saying "That'd be nice if we could go home" (You don't say...) or Perseus himself that after just went through 4 columns of a temple without one single broken skull, or broken bones...I mean, I understand he is the son of zeus, but still ! He is also half human....And I'm not even going to comment on the moment where Zeus and Hades start to kick asses jedi style as if they were in full shape....Why didn't you do that at the beginning of the movie !..Frikkin jedis...
To illustrate and finish my review, I would like to comment on one decision that was taken during the movie by Perseus, in order to show you what mind you must have if you go see that movie.
At some point, Perseus decides to fight in duel with Ares to decide which one of us is the best.
So, let me sum up this. A demigod, who has been a fisherman almost all his life, decides to launch a duel against the god of war. So meaning, that the guy, when he slaps you, it's cosmic. He probably knows all the different martial art and ways to fight there must be in this world, he can fly (yes, he can), he has massacred thousands of people during all the year when soldiers prayed for him and he didn't give a rat's ass, he has a hammer forged by a god, and he is pissed off. Sure Perseus, go for it.....*facepalm*
So this was Wrath of the Titans, a action-packed movie quite funny despite the fact it's not meant to be...I think...If you are still willing to go and check it out, I suggest you do so, but with the decision to have a laugh and to forget the greek mythology..
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